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When Putin Retires...


Dear Leonid Ilyich


At Easter, Brezhnev is walking in the Kremlin when he is greeted with the traditional, Christ has risen! Brezhnev nods and walks on. Again someone says, Christ has risen! And Brezhnev answers: I know, its already been reported to me.

Brezhnev comes to address a big Communist party meeting and says: Dear comrades imperialists,
Everyone sits up trying to understand what he said. Brezhnev tries again: Dear comrades imperialists,
By now everyones in shock - was he trying to call them imperialists?
Then, an advisor walks over and points to the speech for Brezhnev.
Oh... he mumbles and starts again: Dear comrades, imperialists are everywhere...

Brezhnev yells at his speech-writers,
- You idiots! I've asked for a speech that would last 15 minutes, and you wrote one I had to read for an hour!!!
- So sorry, comrade Brezhnev, but we did what you asked for, only we printed 4 copies..

Brezhnev, already senile, addresses the party bureau meeting after a funeral of an important party member:
- I can understand why your faces are so sore. I can understand why you have no taste in clothes and wear those horrid suits. But what I cannot understand is your poor upbringing! When the music started playing, I was the only one who guessed to invite a lady for a dance!

Brezhnev addressed a group of cosmonauts:
- The Americans are going to the Moon, and you, Comrades, will go to the Sun!
- But how??? We'll burn alive in there!
- Do now worry, comrades, the Party found a solution! You will fly at night!

Brezhnev reads a speech at the Winter Olympics "O-O-O-O-O." "No," his aide whispers to him, "that's the Olympic logo."

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