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After the Moscow film festival Bridget Bardot tell Brezhnev,
- Why don't you open the border for everyone who wants to leave?
Brezhnev looks at her in a flirty manner and says,
- Ooooh, baby, you want a little tête-à-tête with me here?

 
Brezhnev was being conducted around hell. 'Well,' the demons say to him, 'choose yourself a torment.'
They pass sinners sizzling in giant frying pans. 'What about that one?' ask the demons.
'N-n-no. . .' says Brezhnev, trembling. 'Not that one.'
They go on and see sinners being beaten with burning brands.
'What about that?' ask the demons.
'N-n-no. . .' says Brezhnev, trembling. 'Not that.'
They go further and suddenly they see Khrushchev in bed with Brigitte Bardot.
'That's the one I want,' cries Brezhnev.
'Ha ha ha!' laugh the demons. 'That's Brigitte Bardot's torment.
 

Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev are all travelling together in a railway carriage. Unexpectedly the train stops. Lenin suggests: "Perhaps, we should call a subbotnik, so that workers and peasants fix the problem." Stalin puts his head out of the window and shouts, "If the train does not start moving, the driver will be executed!" But the train doesn't start moving. Khrushchev then shouts, "Let's take the rails behind the train and use them to construct the tracks in the front". But it still doesn't move. Brezhnev then says, "Comrades, Comrades, let's draw the curtains, turn on the gramophone and pretend we're moving!"

 

 
Stalin, Krushchev and Brezhnev are travelling in a train. The train breaks down.
`Fix it!' orders Stalin.
They repair it but still the train doesn't move.
`Shoot everyone!' orders Stalin.
They shoot everyone but still the train doesn't budge.
Stalin dies.
`Rehabilitate everyone!' orders Krushchev.
They are rehabilitated, but still the train won't go. Krushchev is removed.
`Close the curtains,' orders Brezhnev, `and pretend we're moving!'
 

 
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