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Kennedy comes to God and says: "Tell me, God, how many years before my people will be happy?"
"Fifty years," replies God.
Kennedy weeps and leaves.
 
De Gaulle comes to God and says: "Tell me, God, how many years before my people will be happy?"
"A hundred years," replies God.
De Gaulle weeps and leaves.
 
Krushchev comes to God and says: "Tell me, God, how many years before my people will be happy?"
God weeps and leaves.
 

 
Every morning a man would come up to the newspaper stand, and buy a copy of Pravda, look at the front page and then toss it angrily into the near-by bin.
The newspaper-seller was intrigued.
"Excuse me," he said to the man, "Every morning you buy a copy of Pravda from me and chuck it in the bin without even opening it. What do you buy it for?"
"I'm only interested in the front page," replied the man. "I'm looking out for a death notice."
"But you don't get death notices on the front page," said the newspaper-seller, taken aback.
"I assure you, the death notice I'm looking for will be on the front page."
 

 
There were two brothers, an American and a Russian.
The American was jobless and hungry. But he had an idea: he went to the gates of the White House, sat on the ground outside and began eating hay. Kennedy saw him there and asked: "What are you eating hay for?"
"Because I'm hungry and I haven't a job."
Kennedy was outraged and ordered that he be fed and given some money.
"What else would you like?"
"A ticket to Russia to visit my brother."
Kennedy made the arrangements and the American flew to Russia where he found that his brother was starving too. The American burst out laughing and said: "Brother, I can give you a good piece of advice. Go to the Kremlin, sit on the ground by the gates and eat hay. Out will come Krushchev who will be angry to see you in such a state and give you everything you need."
And that's what the Russian brother did. He sat down by the Kremlin gates and began eating hay. Out came Krushchev and saw him there.
"What are you eating hay for?" he asked.
"Because I'm hungry and I haven't any money."
"You're a fool!" says Krushchev. "It's summer now, you should be eating grass and leaving the hay for winter."
 

 
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