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"It's clearly an arse"

Khrushchev was notorious for advocating harebrained schemes and chasing impractical ideas, such as his insistence on massive expansion of the sown areas of maize, including territories beyond the Arctic Circle.
A popular joke commented on this obsession of his thus: We shouldnt let Khrushchev go to the moon he would plant maize there.

To test the nutritional value of corn Krushchev summoned a Russian, a Ukrainian and a Jew and ordered them to eat nothing but corn for three months.
At the end of this period they were brought to Krushchev again to be weighed. The Russian had lost twenty kilograms, the Ukrainian ten, whereas the Jew had gained five.
Krushchev was overjoyed: "Well, Comrade Rabinovich, tell us how you did it!"
"Quite simple, Comrade Krushchev. I filtered the corn through chickens."

Conversation in a prison cell:

What are you in for? one prisoner asks the other.
For nothing. This is the third time I've landed in a bit of trouble. The first time they put me in was in 1924 just after Lenin died. I was working in a factory then. Some commissar came to read us a lecture. "The death of Comrade Lenin," he said, "it's a national grief. All the factories have closed and there are a hundred thousand wreaths ..." And I said to him: "Comrade Commissar, for that money, never mind Lenin, you could bury the whole party ..." They gave me ten years!
Well I served my ten years, came out and got another job in a factory. Then Stalin died, there was a change of government and Beria was shot. And as soon as this was reported in the newspapers the party organizer said to me: "Ivanov, go and take down that bandit's portrait." But we had an awful lot of portraits hanging up in the factory. And I asked, "Which one?" That put me in the second time.
For a second time I came out and thought to myself, "This time I won't be caught saying a word ... I won't get involved in politics again." And there I was on the First of May marching with the other workers from our factory. They shoved a pole with Krushchev's portrait into my hand and said to carry it. Well, they told me to carry it, so I carried it. But behind me there was this drunk who kept treading on my heels. I said to him once, "Stop treading on my feet." I told him a second time, then when he kept on I turned around and said, "If you tread on my feet once more you bastard I'll beat skit out of you with the clown on this stick ..." I got three years...

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