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When Putin Retires...

 

"Like Putin!"

 

Jokes about Putin's conceptions of civil society abound. Some draw analogies with the jokes about Andropov. For example, one wag has it that Andropov loved to collect jokes about himself, ultimately filling twenty prison cells.

Once, Putin was asked if he planned to develop democracy in Russia.
"I do," he said, "only this democracy will differ slightly from the democracy in the West. For example, in the way that an electric chair differs from a regular chair."
 

 
Putin goes to a restaurant with the leaders of the two houses of parliament. The waiter approaches and asks Putin what he would like to order.
"I'll have the meat."
"And what about the vegetables?"
"They'll have the meat, too."
 

 
At a press-conference a journalist asked Putin:
"Mr. Putin, do you intend to follow the development of civil society in Russia?" Putin replied, "I haven't followed anybody for ten years!"
 

The leaders are in a train when it suddenly stops. There is no track ahead. Lenin says: We should organize a voluntary communist workday! Stalin: If that track isnt laid soon, Ill call the firing squad! Khrushchev: Lets take the track from behind and put it up ahead. Brezhnev: Lets shake the train and hoot and pretend that we are moving forward. Gorbachev: We have to speak openly about this! Yeltsin: Lets sell oil overseas and buy the track you know? Putin: Terrorists!

 
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